Today is July 25th 2024 and Im preparing for the next stages of my life.
I feel like i'm constantly changing but thats a part of living.
Still at the Garner Arts in the Incubator Space I hope we're able to continue being here in the fall and so on. Our residencies ends in September and so far weve been super passing all expectations. Right now in the the space is Me, Rusty, Max, Taj and James. We partook in the Makers Faire and truthfully it was amazing.
Vibes were right and people enjoyed themselves. Next is Summer!
plannning ahead is important. Sure you won't be able to plan for everything, but at least certain goals I want to meet.
The goal is to improve my proffesional career. I've been making way but some deep reflection is need. I feel aligned in all I'm doing but am I missing the mark?
or is this me overthinking?
UH
And this why free-writing really lets your mind explore. Cause am I making the mark? I can always do more , for sure but for the most part im dotting my i's, crossing my t's.
Its the little things that I need to work on. Seen a video of the process, and how the process is important
and the process is slow, you need patience
cause things wont happen immediately and even if they do ,
there's still a process.
Not to put my business out there by last week I was in a psych ward. i can now look back at the moment and laugh but i was definetly in there crying and acting like the gif below.
This was by choice of course... the other option was getting arrested
so for me the choice was clear.
It was an interesting experience to say the least.
And they to had a process.
(it all connects)
it gave me a lot to think.
What I felt the most was disappointment. I proved my parents right , I am a crazy nut job. then in the most girl way ever
I got my period. And not that its an excuse but I do get more emotional/hormonal on my period. why am I sharing this....
why not just free writing rn
Either way, im in the ward cryings my eyes out thinking im gonna be stuck there for the next 3 days and there not gonna release me. Eventually they did , and that is a place I never want to be .
again.
There was nothing to do. It was a empty room with dirty greenish blueish walls , a bed. Cold as hell. The only thing i could do was walk around , go to the bathroom, and lay in bed.
I mainly seen the nurse who checked on my vitals but other then that not much else.
i danced for a bit. but then thought the might keep in longer cause there was no music playing and stopped.
Looking back that was probably dramatic but oh well, I can be dramatic sometimes. I get it from my parent.
Which is why I'm pretty sure that even though, they called the cops on me its calm water between us. I think they saw a lot of how they raised me relfected in the way I acted. Lots of bottled up emotions and explosive outbreaks. And to be fair both parties were in the wrong, my self included cause I definetly broke some things but so did my parents.
it was mutual.
Finally at 10:30PM i was released.
mind you I went in at 11AM. So I was there all day. Usually i deal with things on my on but part of why I was there was cause I don't lean on the people around me. and thats a change i wanted to make. I can share what happened that day but thats a whole other blog post which ima share but not rn. ngl im tired of writing so I'll stop here. make another post about Summer Plans. The things about this page is, its meant to be proffesional but I just wanna say whatever sh** i wanna say. And i have been. Anyways to the next post.
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